June 17, 2015
It seems there are things that only a white person can say to white people. It seems there are things only a black person can say to black people. Is that racist, in and of itself? I don’t really think so, since there are also things that a woman can say to another woman, for instance, that a man can not express without being offensive. There are things that a fat person could only “hear” from another person who struggles with weight. (I say this quite authoritatively!) So, I have some things to say to white people. I am by no means an authority in race relations or how to solve the racial unrest that won’t go away. I have just observed some stuff, from my “front row seat” to the lives of people I adore, people who happen to have brown skin. It is from a position of humility and heartbreak that I make these observations.
I want you, my fellow Caucasian Americans, to think about the fact that any one of you can go into a place of worship and pray. You can do this, quite probably, without giving one thought to whether you will be welcome there, or will fit in, because outwardly, you are the definition of “normal.” You won’t have to spare a single second thinking about your skin color. You won’t have to think about what other people are thinking about your skin color. It would never occur to you that anyone else even is thinking about your skin color. In all probability, you have never, ever had someone point out to you that you are white. You are “same” in almost any given situation. It would not occur to you, in church, or in just about any other place to worry about being targeted for being different. You are not “different” or “less than.” You are “same.” While you are going about your life, Facebooking about the Kardashians and obsessing about work, you know without wasting any time worrying about it that you belong, because you are “same.”
Sure, you have worries, but you would never think about someone walking up to you and—because of your skin color—blowing your brains out while you pray. You would never need to; such a thing has never happened to you, or anyone you know personally, or anyone they know personally. People don’t target others when they are “same.” Your parent’s don’t have to teach you never to wear a hoodie in public and to keep your hands in plain sight at all times so you don't get hurt or killed in some misunderstanding. Your parents don't have to prepare for the fact that people will be afraid of you. People don’t assume the worst about you when you are “same.” When you are “same,” when your world is for the most part designed to accommodate you, and when the laws are made to protect you, your parents do not have to teach you that you’re “same.” You just…are. You never even have to think about it.
It’s called “white privilege.”
If you have never been able to understand it, TRY. Read this as many times as you need to. If you think it’s all a bunch of bullshit, try anyway. We have all got to try. I know, I know! You didn’t create this problem. You didn’t own slaves. You have a black friend. You really don’t care about skin color. I understand, and I believe you. I really do believe you because I feel the same way. No one is blaming you. Is it fair that we can have “Black Girls Rock,” but can’t have “Dudes, White Girls Are Awesome?” Sure, but we don’t need fairness, we need JUSTICE. Is it irritating to bear the scorn and distrust of people we actually want to be reconciled to? Of course, but frankly, it’s less punishment than we deserve for hundreds of years of sin. Yup, I said it. The people of the good old USA sinned against any minority we came across.
The painful fact remains, together, we “Sames” systematically created, tolerated, or at the very least, still benefit from a culture that targets and condemns the “Differents.” We “Sames” have to stop panicking and defending. We “Sames” bear the responsibility to right the wrong on behalf of all the “Sames” before us that created it. It’s hard to hear. It’s hard, so hard to accept. It’s the truth. And it’s time.
