I have some vacation days coming up—a staycation. I’m not going anywhere. I plan to just stay home, rest, read my book
club book, and get a bunch of stuff done around my house. Of course, this is just an amped up version
of the lie I tell myself every week, which goes something like this, “I’ll take
care of it this weekend. I don’t have
anything to do so I’ll have plenty of time to catch up on my sleep and get a
bunch of stuff done.” Riiiiight.
As I’m making that mental list of important things to do, I've
decided to be a little more realistic and prepare myself for the inevitable
four stages of staycation.
Denial
I’m only
going to sleep in and relax one day. I
should be able to knock out that book club book. Sunday, I’ll make sure we all get up and go
to church. I’ll make breakfast before
church and a big dinner that afternoon.
Monday, I’ll clean the house, reorganize the basement and office
and clear out that storage area. Monday
afternoon, I’m going to organize all my tools and tool boxes for Tuesday when
I’m going to fix all the lights in the living room and dining room, and install
the new kitchen ceiling. Oh, and cook
dinner according to my fancy new winter meal plan.
Wednesday is the day I plan to turn my antique upright piano
into the new breakfast bar. It only
required two pictures on Pinterest, so it shouldn’t take long. Then I’ll sand and paint those two dressers
I’ve been procrastinating about. And
cook dinner. Thursday is all about
doors. I have to change the direction of
swing on the side door, and weather strip it, while I am at it. I also need to replace the garage door. And cook dinner. Friday, I’m scrubbing all the walls and
cleaning all the curtains. A few of them
need repairs, so I’ll do that, too. In
between loads of laundry, I’m sure I can clean out all the closets and make a
quick trip to Goodwill. I don’t have to
cook on Fridays, according to my meal plan!
WooHoo.
Saturday will be just for fun; I will deserve it after all
that hard work. Sunday, I’ll make sure we all get up and go to church. I’ll make breakfast before church and a big
dinner that afternoon.
Bargaining
Wednesday? Huh. Well,
I’ll for sure make it to church next Sunday;
I just need one more day to lie around. Let
me take a look at my to-do list.
- Book club book (Where is that thing, anyway?)
-
Cook dinner(Forgot about that whole grocery shopping thing) -
Clean house(It’s just going to get dirty again, anyway.)
- Organize tools
-
Cook dinner(Pizza sounds better!) - Fix lights
- Install kitchen ceiling
-
Cook dinner(Umm. Yeah. Still haven’t made it to the store.) - Breakfast bar
- Refinish dressers
- Cook dinner
-
Walls and curtains(Seriously!?! Who was I kidding?) -
Laundry(I’ll stop at Walmart and buy more socks and underwear while I’m out at Goodwill.) - Doors
- Closets
- Goodwill trip
I still have
plenty of time to get the important stuff done. I’ll get cracking right after I take a nap
and go to Hobby Lobby.
Depression/Anger
How is it
already Saturday morning? Where did all
my vacation go????? It’s hopeless. I’m never
going to get all this home renovation crap done. NEVER. EVER. Or have a clean house. I live with pigs. Why
bother with any of this? No one
appreciates my hard work anyway. Let
them all eat hot dogs on stale buns. In the dark. Ungrateful kids…they need more chores! I had
a ton of chores when I was a kid!
Stupid to-do
list. I should just let the bank take this
disgusting house back. Then we could
just rent a condo. If I had a landlord, he’d have to do all this
work! Maybe I could just move Up North
and live with my mom and dad…
I need to
win the lotto! Then I wouldn't have to
do all this stupid work around here. I
wouldn't even have to get work done at work!
I could have a staycation every week!
Why can’t I win the lotto? I deserve 250 million dollars! I would invest! I’d give to charity. My new house would be perfect, and I would
keep it organized from the very beginning.
Please, Lord, let me win the lotto!
Ugh! I’m going back to bed and finish up those
last three seasons of Grey’s Anatomy.
Acceptance
Crap. Tomorrow is Monday, and I have to go back to
work. I guess I’ll just have to knock
out that kitchen reno next weekend.
