My husband thinks it is very weird that
I can't think about nothing. Yes, we have had an actual conversation
about this. I can not turn my mind off. I can't quite decide if it
is a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, there's always some great
new idea marinating up there in my melon. Almost all of my best home
reno ideas happen when I'm supposed to be asleep. On the other hand,
it is pretty inconvenient that I can't stop obsessing about whatever
I'm pondering in order to do other useful and necessary things--like
sleep! I can entertain myself for hours thinking about any number of
horrible things that are about as likely to happen as the zombie
apocalypse. Or me giving up chocolate. Never. Going. To. Happen.
And then I go and become a pharmacist. Now I'm actually paid to
anticipate every possible thing that could ever go wrong. Oi.
So here I was, mind racing, thinking
about how awesome I am for finally starting a blog, and which great
idea should I write about first, when BAM! It dawned on me that
it's kind of a lot of pressure. My first blog post ever! Crap! Why
didn't I save my New Year's Eve Facebook post?!? This brain of mine
went completely off on a tangent, and now all I can think about is all
the other stupid, stooopid, stuff I do. I submit for your amusement:
Really Stoopid Things I Do
Every Day
- Hit my snooze button once too many. Really, what is 6 more minutes going to do for me? Granted, once I go to sleep, waking up is as painful as swimming up from a coma, not that I've ever actually done that. I'm sure it is physically painful. Whatever. Get up, already, put your underoos on, and get past the worst part of the day!
- Lose my glasses. And don't notice until after I take out my contacts. Every day. Every damn day. Obviously, I am a source of constant amusement for my poor husband. Then again, he always seems to think I'm hiding the remote in my ear, or somewhere. Dude, it is IN YOUR HAND! But, I digress...
- Spend waaay tooo looong looking for matching socks. How is it even possible that someone with a doctorate cannot figure out a good way to keep her socks together?
- I lose my phone, more than once a day actually. Constantly. And why is it always on vibrate when I do? (Except for that one time when I left it on my boss' desk, and he had a meeting after mine. THEN, of course, the ringer was on its loudest setting. Sigh.)
- Lose my keys. (And my work badge, and my driver's license, and my debit card, my pen, phone charger, shoes, gloves, you get the idea.) If I can't keep track of a noisemaker in a bubble gum pink Otterbox, what are the chances I will ever know where my keys are? Thank God my car is smarter than me, and only requires that the “key” is somewhere nearby, or I would never get anywhere. Let's not talk about what happens when I need to get in my house. I'm trying to cut down on my cursing.
#getyourshittogetherwoman
