What If?

http://theabundantwife.com/toddler-tuesday-hammer-time/

I’ve been thinking  about what our country would look like if we all did our jobs the way our police officers have been trained to do theirs.  I’m imagining my amazing friend, Erin, who runs a day care.  I’m sure many times every day, she has to respond to one of her citizens who won’t put the toy hammer down to sit quietly and listen to story time.  Would the appropriate response be for her to gather all of her staff so that they could arm themselves and surround the little citizen?  Would that conflict best be managed by barking orders, and then beating him up if he did not obey?”

I’m remembering how it is sometimes difficult to get the busy surgeons to respond to my phone calls when I need to clarify an order.  It is frustrating to bear the responsibility of simultaneously protecting the patient’s safety and efficiently treating them without the information I need from the prescribing physician.  In fact, sometimes I even feel disrespected.  I could solve my problem by enlisting some of my colleagues to go with me and barge into the OR.  We could then pin the doctor in a choke hold on the floor until he either died of a crushed windpipe or managed to squeak out an answer to my question.

I am wondering what would happen if you went to the hair salon and ignored the polite sign to refrain from using a cell phone.  (Because that never happens, right?)  What if, after repeated requests to either put away the phone or leave, you still refused?  Would the hair stylist then be justified in full-body tackling you, flipping your chair over, and throwing you across the floor?

How about if I’m walking down the hall of the hospital and happen upon one of the staff from Employee Health, who realizes I am non-compliant with TB testing? Maybe I turn around to run the other direction after she confronts me, making her give chase.  Is she then OK to pull out her duly registered concealed weapon, shoot me in the back, and kill me?  I mean, an employee running around the hospital with potential TB is a danger to patients, right?

Obviously, all of these scenarios are completely absurd.  (At least I hope it is obvious to you. If not, we have bigger problem than even I realized.)  It would simply be unacceptable to escalate every problematic situation we encounter because we are allowing ourselves to overreact to our own bias.  Why then, are any of us willing to accept the same conflict management strategies from our police?  Especially when those strategies make an already dangerous line of work more dangerous?  Why is escalation the default response to so many situations involving a non-white citizen?  It does not make any damn sense.  

The killing of Tamir Rice affords us another sick and tragic example.  It was the police department, itself which escalated a non-violent situation into a murder. First, all the pertinent facts reported to dispatch, such as that it was a kid with probably a toy gun, were not passed along to the responding officers.  Not Tamir's fault.  Secondly, the responding officers created the perception of danger to themselves, all by themselves.  It was an escalation to pull the squad car so close to the scene that the cops felt endangered.  Why on earth did they not remain at a more reasonable distance in order to assess the situation for, oh I don't know, any amount of time longer than two seconds?  It was not Tamir's fault that the cops swooped in already planning to kill.  Those cops left room for absolutely no other outcome than  a death. And when I learned they did not even try to administer aid to a dying twelve year old child...

Predictably, the police in Cleveland are closing ranks to allow these incidents to continue. After the decision was announced not to indict Tamir's killers, Anthony Hawkins of the Cleveland Browns peacefully protested by wearing a shirt printed with "Justice for Tamir Rice and John Crawford III.”  According to several news sources, Jeff Follmer, president of the Cleveland Police Patrolmen’s Association responded by saying,

“It’s pretty pathetic when athletes think they know the law. They should stick to what they know best on the field.” 

What appalling arrogance.  Appalling, yet not surprising.  This is exactly the kind of blatant disregard for citizens that we in the United States find unacceptable from “officers of the law.” What a ridiculous notion that that regular citizens are not capable of understanding the law. Does Follmer think all athletes are stupid, or just the black ones? Why would he think we citizens have no right to express opinion or belief about the laws that govern our lives?  It also apparently escaped his notice that Mr. Hawkins was not even commenting on the law; he was calling for justice. The two concepts are very widely separated in this country, especially for minorities. Justice was in no way served for Tamir Rice or his grieving family.

Mr. Follmer, I am neither a legal scholar nor an athlete, but let me assure you I recognize a corrupt system and a miscarriage of justice when I see them. I stand with Andrew Hawkins when he said, 

"I was taught that justice is a right that every American should have. Also justice should be the goal of every American. I think that’s what makes this country. To me, justice means the innocent should be found innocent. It means that those who do wrong should get their due punishment. Ultimately, it means fair treatment. So a call for justice shouldn’t offend or disrespect anybody. A call for justice shouldn’t warrant an apology."

A call for justice does NOT offend or disrespect. A call for justice does NOT warrant an apology. The very fact that Follmer would dare to disagree confirms he either has a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept or that he believes police are not bound by it.  Excessive violence does not make the police officers safer.  It doesn’t make anyone safer.  It’s time to try something smarter.  It’s time for all of us to stand up and demand better.  

Stuck Inside A Well

In October of 1987 an adorable, sandy-haired toddler fell into a hole in Midland, Texas.  She stayed there for 58 hours, while America held its breath.  Baby Jessica was America’s baby; “Everybody’s Baby” is what the media called her.   For three days, we all watched and prayed and waited, desperately hoping she could be saved.  No one blamed her for messing around with an old well.  No one questioned if we should help because “where were her parents?”  We all just wanted her to be ok.  And she was.

Almost thirty years later, we have millions of America’s kids stuck inside a well, and many of them die in there.  Inside this hole, they are judged more harshly than others.  In this well, they are considered dangerous adults.  They are disciplined more severely than others.  The kids in this well can be denied opportunities.  The children stuck in this hole can’t necessarily count on the same quality of education or medical treatment.  They can’t freely walk the streets or safely play in a park.  This well is a very treacherous place for the children inside because we have deemed them dispensable.  We have decided their lives don’t really matter.  We have decided it is OK to deny them a future.  We have decided it’s better to kill them than to “risk” saving them.

We can live with ourselves for leaving them there because we blame them for their own situation:

“If they wouldn’t have [fill in the blank] they wouldn’t be in there in the first place.”  “If they would just stop [fill in the blank] they would be able to climb out of there.” 

“Their parents should have [fill in the blank] or should not have [fill in the blank.]  That’s why they’re in there.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to get them out of the well; how will they learn to be responsible for their own actions?” 

When we blame the children inside the well for being stuck in a hole, we can conveniently forget how they got there.  We can deny the truth that we put them in that well.  Historically, our society benefited by trapping them in there.  Now that they are in so deep, we are too selfish to admit the truth.  We are too lazy to get them out.  It’s just too damn easy to pretend the well doesn’t exist or to convince ourselves that they belong in there.    

Do you recognize the hole I’m referring to?  If you’re an African American, I bet this well is all too familiar.  I bet you've fought to stay out of there your whole life.  If you are white, you probably have a hard time believing the hole is really even there.  You have never seen inside it, in all likelihood.  What is the well called?  Its name is Systemic Racism.   What pushed the children into it?  It is called Racial Bias, which is the same thing that is fighting to keep them there. 

Why can’t these kids be “Everybody’s Kids”?  Wouldn’t our whole nation be stronger if we were all safe?  Wouldn’t we all benefit if every kid had the opportunity to live up to his or her full potential, if they all survived to do so?  It’s time to clear out that well of racism and seal it up.  Enough is enough. 

The cap which now seals off Baby Jessica’s well  

https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+jessica+well&safe=active&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwih9bKa54PKAhWKHD4KHUVRBJYQ_AUIBygB&biw=

1016&bih=833#safe=active&tbm=isch&q=baby+jessica+well+cover&imgrc=HxLX21Js1ONPRM%3A

Indignation and a Can of Tuna

You may have noticed I have a particular concern about social justice in general and race relations in particular.  Not long ago, my family had a disappointing encounter with the local police department.  I’ve mentioned it in other posts, and addressed, at length, my feelings about what occurred, why it happened, and the strategy used by the officers.  This post isn’t really about that.  This story is me and my life in a nutshell.  Forty percent tragedy, forty percent comedy, and ten percent sheer absurdity!  This stuff just never happens to normal people!  (Footnote: someone smarter than me pointed put that my numbers only add up to 90%.  The other 10% is to keep you guessing!) 

I was on my way home from grocery shopping one early evening.  I was tired and cranky as hell.  I called my husband’s phone to have him get everybody outside to help me unload when I got there, but he didn’t answer.  Not necessarily weird.  As I got closer to home, I barely noticed there was a hoorahrah happening across the street, a couple of doors down from our house.  I’m sad to say, it’s not a rare occurrence in my part of town, and it doesn’t even mean something exciting is happening.   It just means that the police have encountered a black person.  So, I ignored it completely, and I pulled into the driveway.

I blared the horn to alert the fam I was home and started gathering up stuff to take into the house, when I noticed something odd.  “Why is the side door standing wide open like someone fled the house in a panic?”  As the light bulb goes on in my head, I slowly turned around to take another look at the circus across the street.  Sure enough, there was my kid, surrounded by cops and a crowd.  My first thought was fear that someone had gotten hit by a car or something.  Nope.   “Oh sweet Jesus! What did those dumbasses do now?” is what I thought next, because you know that teenage boys are not always the best decision-makers.  So, I headed across the street to see what the heck was happening, and I called my son’s name.  One of the officers whirled around, and I heard my husband tell him who I was.  I was instantly on guard when I saw how upset my son was. 

As I got more information about what was going on, I started getting mad.  I asked, “It takes three cops to question one 8^th grader?”  I found myself glaring indignantly at the officer.  Just then, I sort of became aware of myself.  I realized I was standing there with my big, ugly grandma purse in one hand; in the other I had… a can of TUNA.   Oh.  My.  God.  I played it off and very casually put the can in my purse, but the damage was done.  There’s really just no regaining your credibility when you have allowed yourself to look as if you’re going to assault an officer of the law with tuna fish. 

The event very quickly fizzled out after that.  I will go to my grave wondering if it was because a white person showed up, or if the officers merely wanted to get the hell out of there before they had to institutionalize the crazy tuna lady. 

Hold on tight to your sanity, and wait for it to be over!

I feel like I would be so much better now at mothering small children.  It only took more than twenty years of parenting experience.  For one thing, I now have the vivid realization that parenting is so much more about learning than teaching.  Much of what I now know, I only learned because I did it wrong!  For another thing, I see how truly fast it all goes.  All those sleepless nights, the interminable days of messy bedrooms and capless toothpaste tubes really do pass in a flash. 

Now, I’m about to get my first grandchild.  I have all of this joy and eagerness and fear and regret and sorrow and resignation all bouncing around inside of me.  I want my daughter’s experience to be so much easier and less stressful than mine.  I feel this urgency to help it be so, but also this sense of knowing that she will have to do her own learning.  My daughter is becoming an incredible woman.  She has made painful mistakes and is doing her best to make amends.   She suffered terrible things no kid should have had to.  She has endured.  In and of itself, that is an accomplishment, but more than just surviving, she’s turned the corner to flourishing.  I could not be more proud of her.  I could not be more anxious for her to feel successful at mothering. 

I’ve made so many mistakes myself as a mom, and I’m sure I’m going to make more.  Yet, my children have survived in spite of me, and I’m very proud of the people they are becoming.  After all the missteps and mistakes, there are at least a few things thing I can be confident of as I near the end of this season—I have loved being a mother.  I adored my kids and still do.  I did the best I could, and it is enough.   Here’s what meager advice I have to offer:   

1.       Give yourself room to grow.  You have no idea what you’re doing.  None of us did.  Neither do your Facebooking, Instagramming friends, so don’t get sucked into the illusion.  It’s not a competition!  You’ll screw up and make mistakes.  He’ll be fine.  You’ll do your best, and it will be enough.  God loves him infinitely more than even you can.  The Lord will bless your parenting successes and redeem your failures to shape your son into the man He wants him to be.   

2.       Teach him to sleep in his own bed as early as possible.  Trust me on this.  I know you, and you need your sleep!

3.       Pick your battles.  If it won’t matter when he’s grown, it probably doesn’t matter now.  A hug and an “I love you” will solve many of your discipline problems, so try that first. 

4.       Use a lingerie bag to keep his sox together. Teach him from birth to put his sox in there the minute he takes them off his feet.  I’m dead serious.

5.       Apologize to him when you’ve been wrong. Be honest.   It will teach him to be kind and responsible. 

6.       Start out organized and stay that way.  You’ll thank me later if you make this a habit now. 

7.       Let him learn.  He needs to fall down, to cry, to yearn for things he doesn’t have, and to experience failure, loss, and regret.  He needs to hurt, sometimes.  It will break your heart, but it’s necessary.  He has to learn his own lessons, and often it will be the hard way. 

8.       Be patient.  The only solution for the “terrible twos” is turning three… until he gets hormones.  Then it’s the “terrible twos” on steroids.  He’s going turn into a crazy beast you won’t recognize as a teenager.  He’ll be back.   Just hang on to your sanity and wait it out.  

9.       Nobody knows more than you what is best for your kid.  Not even your mom.  (I’m only going to admit that once!)  Be careful of who you let into his life, and always trust your own instincts. 

10.   Love him and enjoy him.  Read to him.  Talk to him.  Pray with him.  Laugh with him.  Everything else can wait.  That bears repeating.  Everything else can wait.

An Open Letter to "White, Christian Conservatives"

(and the Bigoted Blowhards Masquerading as Such)        

I am going to preface what is surely going to be the Longest. Rant. Ever. Before anyone reads any further, I want to help you be able to read what I AM ACTUALLY SAYING.  To accomplish that I am going to tell you what I am NOT saying. 

For starters, I am not saying every police officer is a racist murderer of black people. I do not ever, in any way want cops to be more in danger. I have never even suggested such a thing, nor will I ever because I do not believe that. I will admit to a bit of emotional confusion about the subject of excessive police force. There is a disconnect between the character and behavior of the people in law enforcement that I actually know personally, and the blatantly racist things that I see occurring. It is troubling. It made me uncomfortable enough to look deeper. I am learning that it seems to be the law enforcement policies that are racist, not necessarily law enforcement officers. Here's what I mean, somewhere along the line, the paper-pushers sitting safely behind their desks decided it would be a great use of our peace officers to fight and fund their “war on drugs.” To accomplish this, some blatantly racist practices have become commonly accepted—practices that are DANGEROUS for EVERYONE involved.

Secondly, I hear a lot of people who are well-meaning, peace-loving individuals, suggest that we should all just forgive and forget—let the past be the past. I pray for the day that we can all do that, but we are not there yet. It is not the past if it is STILL HAPPENING.  We are going to have to create justice, before we can enjoy its fruit, peace. 

The background on the rest of this post is as follows, I befriended an ignorant racist on Facebook. On purpose.  After a few 'debates' around the Black Lives Matter movement, he tagged me in a post of presidential candidate Ben Carson's remarks about Black Lives Matters. Carson was quoted as stating the slogan should be ALL Black Lives Matter, a reference to abortion and black on black violence. OK, let’s just all agree from now until the rest of forever, if you don't want me to tell you, don't ask me “What do you think?” Naturally, being me, I posted, at length, what I think.  That is Part One.   

Well, I pissed off some very, ummmm... we will generously call them... “conservative” people. Not surprising, probably. A lot of accusations followed, to which I of course had responses.  Part Two contains summaries of objections on the public domain, Facebook. Some of them are from the encounter I just described. Others are from encounters I have had on other Facebook activities, and still others are combinations of the two. Any direct quote will have quotation marks. All of Part Two, other than my own comments has come directly from Facebook.  

Part One

Obviously, Mr. Carson, who I actually agree with on many points, is entitled to his opinion. Arguably, as an African American he is more entitled to an opinion than I am. I would love to ask him, and other conservatives some questions, though. When in God's name did we decide we must cure all social ills before everyone is entitled to expect equal protection under the law? Oh, I remember… when white people got uncomfortable. If serial killers are running around killing white kids, do we say, “Well, if white lives matter, then why do white people get abortions?” No sir, we do not. When white people are in danger, we don't see anybody on Fox news screaming that we have to eradicate corporate greed before we can send in the National Guard.

Most of the objections to the phrase "Black Lives Matter" are just pathetic attempts to distract us from the problem at hand. Very, very transparent attempts, and make no mistake, it is racism. The next time anyone reading this is tempted to utter the words “If black lives really mattered, then....” please realize your racism is showing. That sentence is just a passive-aggressive way of saying “Black lives DON'T matter because...”

Let's ask ourselves what is the motive for intentionally and arrogantly misrepresenting the ideas behind “Black Lives Matter?"  Are we really so shallow and ignorant that we believe demanding an end to the abuse of power in law enforcement is the same thing as saying ONLY black lives matter? What is the motive behind stubbornly refusing to admit the obvious reality that black people in this country have been treated unjustly for centuries? Are we really going keep our heads buried in our own BS instead of acknowledging that black citizens are still being targeted in this country? Are we really going to pretend that only scary criminals are being detained, beaten, harassed, and killed, not law-abiding black folks, too?

Unfortunately, I think I may understand Mr. Carson's motive. Fact is, in order for him to win an election on a Republican ticket, he is going to have to court the affections of an awful lot of white conservatives who find it inconvenient to acknowledge the crap that is going on around them. Let me be clear, the things I appreciate most about Mr. Carson are his stance on personal responsibility and his own history of overcoming the odds through hard work. I admire him tremendously. His is a powerful and needed message for every American.  However, I am disgusted by white conservatives who have had the audacity to use his accomplishments to scold the black community about personal responsibility.  These buffoons have have no credibility and profound arrogance. 

The historical actions of the white population of this country are directly responsible for the inequities that still exist. Deal with that. This country was built to the advantage of white Americans at the expense of Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans and any other minority we could subjugate. Public policies still exist which target minorities. Tell me again, who is it that needs to take responsibility and make restitution here? The Bible tells us that generations suffer the consequences of the sins of the father. Take it up with Him, if you don't think that's fair. You still don't think that we should be held responsible for the actions of our forebears? Why not? We are reaping the benefits. Many, many of their unjust systems remain, along with some new ones.  There is still work for us to do.

I understand the motive of many white conservatives, too. I used to be one.  To be honest, I still am.  It's hard to take responsibility. It makes me feel bad. Guess what, I got over it really quick when someone I love, who WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG, was pulled over, surrounded by police with their HANDS ON THEIR WEAPONS, ready to blow his head off if they got “scared.” I got over it when I sat in court and watched two kids, one white and one black, receive very different treatment for doing the same thing wrong, together. I got over feeling bad as I've watched dozens of times as black relatives, neighbors and friends are pulled over and detained by multiple police officers for such egregious offenses as hanging air fresheners, rolling stops, cracked taillights, turning around in a school driveway... and on and on. Funny thing is, for all of these 'legitimate' traffic stops, there are hardly ever any actual tickets issued.  I definitely got over it when my 13-year-old son was illegally detained and questioned by three armed men.  Why?  For being a light-skinned black kid with an afro.

Meanwhile, I live in the same neighborhood, drive the same car, go the same places.  I hardly ever get stopped, never by more than one officer and always actually deserve a ticket. What is the difference? Are you really going to try to convince me there is no racial targeting going on? It's time to wake up and take responsibility. It's time to stop turning a blind eye to the truth. It's time we expect all officers of the law to treat everybody's kids the way we treat white people's kids.  We have to do better.

The good news is, I believe in the power of love and the power of prayer. My real awakening came because I have black kids, and I want them safe. I want them to have a better USA. I want them to be able to walk anywhere they want to without fear of encountering a bad cop instead of one of the honorable ones. I want them to be able to run down the street and not have people assume they are running away from their crime. I want them to be able to wear a hoodie. I want them to be able to make a mistake without dying for it. I want them not to be suspicious of every police officer. I want the best for my kids. So do all of you; why can't you see that is the real point of it all? You would be able to see it if it were YOUR loved ones in danger. Maybe that is exactly the answer. So this is going to be my prayer for the rest of my life:

Dear Lord who loves us all, regardless of our race, religion, our crimes and our sins; who loved us all enough to die for us on a cross, I pray that your justice, your peace and your love will permeate our country and our world until we learn to treat each other with respect and dignity. I pray you will bless every person who has ever had the thought, “IF black lives matter...” I pray you will bless them with compassion. I pray you will send them love and deep relationships with people of many races, so they will never again be able to question whether someone matters. I pray you will send to them wives, husbands, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, students, neighbors, friends, doctors, nurses, and pastors of color in such abundance that they will see a glorious preview of what your Heaven is going to look like. We long for your kingdom, your will on earth as it is in Heaven.”

Part Two

How dare you say a black man can’t run for president without catering to voters?  That is disgusting. 

Response:  How naive are you, exactly?  Of course it’s disgusting.  Welcome to modern politics in the USA.  Do you really think anyone in this country makes is to the Presidency without courting the affections of voters?

You attacked a black man for standing up for his beliefs.

Response:  No.  I asked some hard questions, to be sure, but if he’s up to running the country, I’m pretty sure he can handle it.  When people do not agree with someone that does not mean they are attacking.  Grow up.  

Ben Carson believes abortion is wrong and you are too dumb to figure that out.

Response:  People generally end up looking very silly when they make assumptions about others.  I am well aware Mr. Carson is Pro-Life.  I happen to share his view.  It still has nothing whatsoever to do with the issue of excessive police force. The trouble you’re going to have debating me here is that I AM A CONSERVATIVE.  I believe in freedom and justice just like you.  For everyone, though, not just people exactly like me.  

It’s not OK to kill anyone, black or white.

Response:  Right.  So why are we even discussing this?  Why aren’t you fighting to keep everyone safe instead defending police violence to me if you don't think the number of blacks being killed is actually is OK?  

If blacks don’t want to be shot in the street they should stop being criminals.

Response:  For starters, this is the United States of America in the year 2015.  We have a criminal justice system that provides for a trial by jury.  The police must not circumvent the entire system by killing people in the street—even if they are criminals.   For another thing, not everyone who is a victim of police violence is a criminal.  Mistakes are made all the time.  That is why we have a justice system.  

Blacks are killing each other every day.

Response:  Did I even once suggest that the US does not have too much violence?  Blacks kill blacks, whites kill whites, blacks and whites kill each other.  So maybe we should allocate our police resources to preventing and solving actual crimes.  Maybe we don’t need to be endangering everyone involved by advocating fishing expeditions cleverly disguised as routine traffic stops for idiotic “offenses” like dangling air fresheners. 

It’s not conservatives that are killing the blacks.

Response:  Ooookkaaayy. I never suggested that in any way.   What I said very plainly is that whites need to take responsibility for creating the culture of racial injustice that still exists today.

You said it’s conservative’s fault that blacks kill each other every day, and really it’s black peoples’ own fault they are murdering each other.

Response:  Nope.  I never said conservatives are to blame for the violent choices of other people.  I said that those Conservatives who can’t admit the truth about the topic of institutional racism have their heads up their butts.  Not the same thing at all.

When black people do bad things/get killed by cops it is their parent’s fault because they obviously didn’t raise them properly.

Response:  Anyone who has a kid over the age of about 9 years old knows this one is false.  People do not always follow their parents’ teachings.  Besides, if we are such fans of Conservativism, don’t we already agree that people are responsible for their own choices?

Democratic liberalism is to blame for all of the above. 

           

Response:  Are you serious right now?

“Obama and his liberal radical friends are to blame for this big race division in America.”  It’s movements like Black Lives Matter that are causing the all the problems.  Black Lives Matter creates division among the races. Famous black people who say things I don’t like are the ones who cause the problems.  Diversity is to blame for all this.

Response:  Please, I am begging you.  Come out from under your comfy rock and join us.  These problems are not a new thing just because some white people suddenly noticed there is some racial tension. 

Your ideas hold black communities back.  Your excuses cause blacks to kill each other every day.

Response:  

I had absolutely no idea I was so powerful.  And here I thought it was the more than two hundred years of slavery and oppression that had something to do with it.  I wonder if I have any other super powers.   It would be really sweet if I could fry things with my eyes...

You are perpetuating excuses.  You blame and point fingers.

Why is it that you all have so much to say about other people taking responsibility, but refuse to acknowledge OUR responsibilities?   Frankly, I am very disappointed in the general lack of ability to have any sense of accountability, or compassion for your fellow Americans.  All of them.   This is not about making glib sound bites for the news. This is about making a better world for everyone's kids, not just the white ones.

Stop insulting me.

Response:  In all sincerity, I really do not intend to be insulting.  I will not mince words for the comfort of us white folks, though.  We’ve been happily in our comfort zone long enough, at the expense of other races. 

You have a warped sense of reality.

Response:  Quite possibly.  It’s a good thing I didn’t make all of this stuff up on my own.  There’s this little thing that happened a few years ago called the Civil Rights Movement.  Most of these ideas have been floating around in one form or another since then.   Oh yeah, and then there’s this bestseller I re-read once in a while.  It gives these really good suggestions about how not to kill and abuse people with less power than you.  It was written by this author named GOD, hundreds of years ago but it’s still a pretty relevant book. 

You aren’t helping you’re enabling.

Response:  Enabling who to do what, exactly?  How in the world is expressing an opinion enabling? 

 “You are a pseudo-intellectual.”

Response:  You are right.  As you see from my complete lack of ability to frame a thought in a complete sentence with correct grammar and punctuation, I am quite stupid.   (OK.  I admit it.  I included this accusation purely for the comedy aspect. )

You are twisting the facts.  Twice as many whites are killed by police as blacks. 

Response:   I am doing what everyone should be doing, which is using my brain to think for myself, rather than letting someone spoon feed me.   I am using the 11:00 news as STARTING POINT, not as a definitive resource.  I’m listening to both sides of a debate.  When someone throws out a random number, I am going to data sources such as the FBI, the DOJ, RAINN, Ohio State University, and the National Police Wives Association to check them for myself.  Then I am doing some high school math to make sure I’m comparing “apples to apples.” 

Black citizens are killed in encounters with the police at rate that is at least twice that of white Americans, when we account for population size.  For some reason, you think that is “twisting the numbers.”  Let me see if I can put it into terms you might find more interesting.   I have 25 fifty-dollar bills, and I’m going to give them to random people in a room A.  There are 45 people in that room.  I have another 25 fifty-dollar bills I’m going to give to random people in a room B.  There are 300 people in Room B.  Which room would you rather be in?  Room A, of course.  I'm sure you figured that out quick enough.  Your chance of walking away with $50 is a lot higher in room A.. 

What if I give fifty $50 bills to the people in Room B and still give only 25 to Room A.   Your odds are STILL better in room A.  Think about that.  Say 123 people were killed in a room of 450 blacks, and 326 people were killed in a room of 3000 whites.   All I did was take a few zeros away from the actual statistics to make it manageable, so we can see that the odds of surviving were much better in the white room.  It’s not some fancy mind trick—It’s math.  MATH. 

The liberal media are all liars.  You can’t trust the media. Your facts are wrong and these numbers I got from Fox News and Facebook prove it.

Response:    Sigh

Blacks commit more crime.  Blacks kill more police than whites so they deserve cops being tough on them.  Blacks commit the most hate crimes.  There are 35,000 black on white rapes every year.  There’s a 2012 FBI/DOJ study that proves it. 

Response:  False, false, false and false.  None of those statements can be substantiated.  I actually looked everywhere for the study that supposedly “proves” the rape statistic.  Not to be found anywhere.  I finally just googled the quote and got a hit.  It was a really big headline.  Above a cartoon.  A CARTOON.  With “links” to “references” that took me to advertisements.   SMH

You are ignorant.

Response:  Well, if you put it in a cartoon with a big enough headline, maybe this will be true, too. 

All lives matter.  A white person matters just as much as a black person.

Response:  Poor you.  It’s too bad white people haven’t been more privileged in the US.  It’s too bad that white people haven’t mattered enough in relation to everyone else.   Please.  No one ever said white lives don’t matter.  The very idea your statement promotes--that white lives matter less if black lives matter at all--vividly illustrates that you do not really understand the concepts of justice or equity. 

I am not privileged.

Response:  I bet you have never had to spare a single thought about your skin color. You won’t have to think about what other people are thinking about your skin color. It would never occur to you that anyone else even is thinking about your skin color. In all probability, you have never, ever had someone point out to you that you are white.   You can run down the street and NOT have people assume you’re running from a crime scene.  You can wear a hoodie and have your hands in its pockets without risking your life.  Everything about the country you live in was designed to accommodate people just like you.  You ARE privileged. 

I didn’t have slaves, so none of this is my fault.

Response:  “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”  Are you or I directly responsible for the actions of our ancestors?  No.  Are we morally justified in ignoring the ongoing results of those actions that are still a factor in many lives still today?  NO.  NO. NO.       

I don’t believe in reverse discrimination. 

Response:  Great!  I don’t believe in fairy tales either.  Reverse discrimination would be possible if suddenly blacks outnumbered whites six to one and used that advantage to enslave them for a hundred years, followed by another hundred years of oppressive laws.

Black people need to take personal responsibility.

Response:  Yes, as does every other human being.  Maybe you can help me understand how demanding equal treatment under the law is the same as refusing to take personal responsibility?  Better yet, explain how white people are taking personal responsibility to correct the injustices that have been inflicted upon minorities, the poor, children, and women in our country's history?

If we acknowledge that people hate others because of race we are just using that as an excuse.

Response:  “You don’t get to reconciliation by pretending that evil things never happened.” –Colin Smith.  The first step to solving any problem is to acknowledge it exists.  Pretending racism doesn’t exist may solve your discomfort problem but it certainly does not make racism any less real. 

Why hasn’t the black president done anything to fix the race problems?

Response:  Let me get this straight.  Slavery and institutional racism have persisted for 210 years under forty-three different white presidents, and you think the black guy was supposed to fix it in two terms?

Blacks hate white people too.

Response:   I’m sure there are.  What’s the point?  That it’s OK to kill them for it?  Ask any random black person if they care AT ALL about how whites feel about them.  I predict the answer will be no.  We are not talking about feelings here.  You cannot regulate feelings and attitudes.  We can and must regulate systems that perpetuate racial disparity.

We have a mixed President who denies his white half.

Response:  “The nation's answer to the question 'Who is black?" has long been that a black is any person with any known African black ancestry. This definition reflects the long experience with slavery and later with Jim Crow segregation. In the South it became known as the ‘one-drop rule,'’ meaning that a single drop of "black blood" makes a person a black." --F. James Davis 

A “movement” is what it takes to make things change.  Your insignificant ideas aren’t starting one.

Response:  Whew.  Good thing I didn’t need to.  This “movement” caught on about 50 years ago. 

Black Lives Matter is hatred.  I was somewhere and some black people said bad stuff so Black Lives Matter is evil.  Black Lives Matter is a hate group. Black Lives Matter wants to fry police like bacon.

Response:  Black Lives Matter as a movement began in 2012, aimed at increasing awareness of ongoing systemic racism in the US.  The majority of its activities during those three years have been non-violent, although admittedly noisy.  Have some people taken it too far, and engaged in radical activities?  Yes.  The actions of those individuals do not represent its supporters as a whole.   As far as the slogan, the following quote sums it up pretty well.   “The reason "black lives matter" became a slogan to begin with was that activists felt that some people needed to be reminded that black lives mattered as much as white lives, because no one needed to be reminded white lives mattered. They were reacting to a system that assigned different levels of value to lives based on race. But by making a difference explicit, they've been hit with the charge that they're the ones who created that difference to begin with.”—Dara Lind

Black Lives Matter is the same as the KKK.

Response:  Well, maybe without the white hoods, cross-burning, and the actual killing of people.  NOPE.  NOT.  EVEN.  THEN.  What a stupid thing to say.  Seriously. 

Black Lives Matter doesn’t represent all black people.

Response:  Of course not.  No one idea or philosophy represents all white people, or all Danish people, or all Republicans.  Why would you think any one idea is supposed to represent every black American?

My black friend, cousin, coworker, neighbor agrees with me.   All my black friends agree with me.

Response:  So where are they in this dialogue?   I’m not hearing from them. 

You’re not even black.

Response:  Right. 

Who are you to speak for black people?

Response:  No one, which is why I do not attempt to speak for anyone but myself.  Never once have I purported myself to be a spokesperson for anyone.  Unlike other parties in this dialogue, I have not once said, “such and such person agrees with me.”  I have been known to quote my own husband, but I don’t even do that very often because he is well capable of speaking for himself. 

You’re not allowed to call yourself a black sympathizer.

Response:  Honestly, I don’t know what that even means.   Being black is not an identity that requires sympathy, nor is that what I offer to my friends and loved ones.  I offer solidarity in acknowledging and seeking solutions for racial injustice. Furthermore, I am allowed to call myself whatever I want.   I choose, “patriot,” “decent human being,” and “Christian Conservative” in the true senses of those words.  Quite frankly, I am sick to death of wacko radicals who have hijacked that last title and made it synonymous with obnoxious racist and intolerant bigot.  Those of you that are polluting the media and internet with your lies and misrepresentations do NOT speak for me. Stop conducting yourselves as if you have a corner on the market of “Christian” behavior because all the while, you are willing to tolerate the SIN of injustice.  That’s right, SIN.  You make us all look like hypocrites and buffoons.  Sit down and shut up.   

You’re not allowed to speak up because I think you haven’t done anything for the black community.

It is interesting to me that there have been so many digs intended to belittle me into silence.  It’s a waste of time. I will not shut up, nor do I need to justify myself in order to speak the plain truth.  The “black community” is not some homogenous group of gingerbread men that needs the great favor of white “help.”  What is needed here is justice, and I don’t have to be black to see that or speak up about it.    

I am already well educated; I do not need to “educate myself.” 

Response:  I take it from that statement that you think you have nothing else to learn.  Congratulations on your educational achievements, certainly.   May I humbly suggest you revisit a few subjects from high school, such as American History, Math, Statistics, and Civics?  There are a few topics it seems you could do with some review on:  Native Americans, the Trail of Tears, slavery, the Tuskegee Experiment, the Civil Rights Movement, the American eugenics movement’s influence on the Nazis, Redlining, the Rosewood Massacre, WW II era injustices against the Japanese… 

Black children are growing up with the same opportunities as white children.

Response:  Wait. A. Second.  Hold up, because now I am really confused.  A minute ago you said it was my ideas holding the black community back, that Democrats are causing all the race problems.   Which is it?  Oh, that’s right.  NONE of those statements are true.  When black kids can’t even be assured of walking down the street without risk from the police, a “nervous” citizen, or a vigilante with a hot temper, they hardly have equal opportunities.  Practices like redlining have enforced an unofficial segregation which has limited access to certain opportunities.  I could go on and on, but how about a concrete example?  

There are only 4 percent black doctors in the US.  Why is that, I wonder?  All things being equal, one would expect that black doctors would be at about 13 percent which is roughly the percentage of the black population in the US.  So why is it so low?  Do blacks not WANT to be doctors?    I doubt it.  Are blacks not capable of being doctors?   That’s not true.   Are blacks too lazy to be doctors?   Not at all.  Still think we are an equal opportunity country?

Yet, we have a black president.

Response:  One reviled and disrespected black president in 200 years doesn't exactly scream equal opportunity to me, but it is progress.

You should stop teaching your kids about racism.  You should teach your children not to fear race.  You should not teach kids that people hate based on race.  Stop teaching your kids to fear the police. 

Response:   You think black kids are learning about racism from their parents?  My mouth is gaping open from utter incredulity.  Wow.  Your planet must be really nice. 

You should teach black kids children to be respectful.  You should teach black kids right from wrong.

Response:  How dare you assume that is not already happening?  I have never heard anything so insulting and arrogant in my life. 

Racial tensions are going to continue as long as we keep thinking whites owe blacks something.

Response:  We whites do owe blacks some things.  They are called justice, equity, and basic human decency, at the bare minimum.  Further, what value do you place on modern health care?  Are you aware of the human experimentation that was perpetrated upon blacks?  What value do you place upon the railway system?  Are you aware that it was built by blacks and Asians who were paid only a fraction of the wages paid to whites?  Again, I could go on and on.  It truly sickens me to see the sense of entitlement that allows whites to think that we “got where we are all on our own, so blacks should have to, also.”

Racial tensions are going to continue as long as we keep thinking blacks are inferior.

Response:  Wow.  And there it is in a nutshell.  I never used the word inferior.  You THOUGHT the word inferior.  Thank you for proving my entire premise that bigotry is alive and well.